I've wanted to talk about this subject for a long time now and I will try to restrain myself from ranting and instead explain.
As a kid I was always short, skinny and sporty. Every year I was on the football team, cross country team, basket ball team, even rugby one year. What comes with sports teams are the compulsory, unisex shorts and t-shirt and with this came my first encounter with the world of skinny shaming.
"You need to get some meat on your bones!" my coach would say to me as she tugged drawstrings further out the shorts and wrapped them around my waist. "Get your mum to buy you a chippy for tea tonight!" was the one I remember the most. I never understood the big deal, I was small, that was that! I ate a healthy amount of food yet it wasn't enough according to most. Years, I went through countless teachers questioning me about my family life and if I was being fed enough. The most memorable was the Primary 7 BMI test in which the teacher asked us our weight and we'd note down where we were on the BMI scale. Horrified of my results the teacher called home and ask to speak with my parents. I would have been 11 or 12 years old then and weighed under 5 stone so I could see where her concern was coming for but none the less I was short and I'm just small.
Currently I'm 5 foot 1 inch and weigh in at 5 stone 10 or 11 pounds. I am in the 1st centile for my age group and I'm underweight. Now I'm just going to assume you're shocked, most are, but let me explain:
- I have never been anything above underweight
- This is normal for my family's genetics
- I eat enough
- and I am healthy!
What most people presume when they see my waist or hear my weight is that I'm not healthy or don't eat enough. In the worst cases I'm accused of being anorexic or bulimic. I'll usually get asked what my 'secret' is, like it's an exclusive club in which if you eat nothing but apples you can achieve your dreams of being slim but no, it's just nature, genetics.
Now, you're probably thinking 'stupid cow complaining about being skinny' but it's not about being slim that upsets me, it's peoples reactions.
"you're like a twig!" "Do you even eat?!" "You better not trip, you might just snap on impact." "You're too boney to hug!" (That last one hurts the most).
I've become very aware of myself and a bit self conscious now. A constant concern of mine is someone hating hugging me or holding my hand as I know some hate the feel of a defined rib cage or boney hands
You would't go up to someone with a fuller figure and turn them into a simile by comparing them to a whale, would you? No, you wouldn't. So why do that to someone slimmer? It hurts all the same, even if you mean it as a compliment. If you want to compliment someone's figure, do it nicely. Here, I'll help you.
Are you from space? Because that body is out of this world!
That outfit looks rad on you!
You have such a lovely figure!
or even just a simple
you're beautiful.
If you take anything away from this let it be, treat everyone with fairness, call someone beautiful and no matter how many more time they are called otherwise they'll always have your compliment to hold on to.
:)
*and yes, that is me in the photo*
